BitterSweet
by pjtl4e
Summary: Beckett wakes Castle in the middle of the night looking for answers - set after 3.13 Knockdown.
1. Chapter 1

The banging had made its way into his dreams before it had managed to wake him, and now he made his way, barefoot and unsteady down the staircase, rubbing at his eyes in an attempt to open them so he could see the person who was about to die painfully for disturbing him.

"Martha? Alexis?"

In his sleep ridden state Castle barely made out that the two words were in fact questions as he opened to door to a smiling, sparkly eyed and slightly wobbly Kate Beckett

"Not here..." Hmm, that had come out slightly sharper than he'd meant it to, but the damn woman in front of him had just roused him from the deepest sleep, and she seemed so cheerful about it.

Castle stood aside and gestured generally for her to enter, allowing himself the pleasure of her brushing past him to wake him fully, before suspicion and curiosity caught hold. He watched as she made her way straight to his kitchen, grabbed a water bottle out of his fridge and downed half in quick, long swallows.

"Coffee Castle?"

"Again with the blasted questions woman." Castle caught himself, realising just how ill-tempered he sounded, looking at the clock he knew why, 12:45, a time for all good cop-saving-writers to be tucked up safely in bed. "Sorry, yes.. coffee I'll make some."

His eyes narrowed as he realised that Beckett had ignored his grumpiness and started on the coffee before he had even answered her.

He stepped towards her, deciding to let this play out, late night visits were new, but she'd let him know what was wrong when she was ready. Castle watched as she expertly manoeuvred herself around his kitchen, gently humming to herself as she produced two steaming mugs of coffee, accepting the mug as she handed it over Castle tried to ignore the feel of her fingers sliding against his, tried to dismiss it as an accident.

Looking up as he took a mouthful of the coffee he was startled to see a glint in the eyes of the woman stood over the counter from him, he'd seen that look before in her eyes, earlier in the evening before they had saved Ryan and Esposito. He may have started the plan into action, but with _that_ look she had finished it, and almost finished him in the process Castle swallowed hard and hedged his bets with his next statement whist Beckett worked her way around the counter to stand in front of him.

"Mother and Alexis have gone to the Hamptons for the weekend, thought I needed the time to write."

"Hmm" She continued to watch him, and he tried to pretend he couldn't see as her eyes flicked down his chest and up towards his lips. "Ever been told you're kinda cute in your PJ's Rick."

There was a playfulness in her voice that he wasn't used to hearing from her, especially after a long day like the one they had just had, . He took another gulp of the hot liquid in his hand just for something to do before he answered her.

"I'm not sure what I like best about that statement, _Detective _Beckett." Castle grinned at her, watching as she almost blushed under his gaze. "The fact that you noticed _or_ that you used my first name."

He continued to smile until he suddenly realised that her hands were empty of the mug they had been holding and were inexplicably making their way under his tee-shirt, leaving a trail of fire where her fingers touched him. Spilling his coffee in his haste, Castle caught her wrists in his hands, pulling them away from his skin and held them together between their bodies.

"Kate! What the hell?..." A realisation hit him, and he mentally kicked himself for something he should have noticed before. "Have you been drinking?" The concern he had been holding in since she had arrived poured out in that one sentence.

Slowly she nodded but didn't allow her eyes to leave his, she stared intently at him, trying to convey something that he just wasn't getting. Castle pulled her towards him, wrapping his arms around her as she followed the action with her own arms, he rested his chin on the top of her head, concern, fear and interest mixed in equal measures as he gently stroked the small of her back. Beckett slowly relaxed into him allowing him to tighten his hold on her briefly before pulling back, catching her chin in his hand he placed a chaste kiss on her forehead before taking her hand and leading her towards his sofa.

Indicating that she should sit Castle retrieved their now lukewarm beverages and joined her.

"Tell me?" It wasn't so much a question as a request, one she was free to refuse, though he knew from experience that Kate Beckett wasn't one to walk away because the answer was hard.

The silence that followed wasn't uncomfortable, but thoughtful as she struggled to find the words, a couple of false starts and stumbled words and Castle knew she was conflicted. Leaping of the sofa with sudden inspiration he grabbed her hand and dragged her towards his study.

"Come with me...something I need to..."

He almost stopped at the small laugh that escaped Beckett's throat. "No choice Writer Boy, not with a grip like that."

Releasing her so he could rummage on his desk for a specific piece of paper he continued using his peripheral vision to keep an eye on her, watching her watch him with a strange,almost sad smile on her face.

Triumphantly he slapped his palm down on a sheet as it tried to slide off his desk, making her jump in the process and pulling her attention to what he wanted to show her.

"Come here." He held out his hand for her to take as she moved closer, he moved the sheet into her line of vision. "Read this."

"_KB. Always, I promise. RC"_

Castle watched as Beckett absorbed what the writing on the sheet said, knowing that when she turned towards him she understood.

"It's the dedication for the new Nikki Heat novel, and I mean it, no matter what." He saw the tears starting to form at the corners of her eyes and knew that she was ready to talk.


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, second chapter - no really sure how much I like this, I had to split this chapter up a bit as it was starting to get a little out of hand, so it is slightly shorter than I thought it was going to be, but I decided to post it anyway as the reviews from the last chapter seemed encouraging :-) (Here's to hoping this chapter is as well received!)

Review if you can, let me know what you think. Always grateful to know if there's anything I can improve on.

* * *

"Why are you here Kate?" It was soft, undemanding, no more than a prompt as he felt weariness start to take over his body.

Castle felt exhausted, his head hurt, muscles ached that he never knew he had and his knuckles were stinging where he had beaten a man into near unconsciousness. He needed sleep but until the woman in front of him had spoken what was on her mind that was not going to happen, and she was not going to make it easy.

His head snapped up as she started to talk.

"Why am I here?" Beckett snorted softly and Castle decided on the spot that was his new favourite sound. "I'm here because you are, because you had a plan and _forgot_ to tell me all the details, because you walked away tonight and never said one word about what had happened, because I have spent the past couple of hours wondering what the hell you were playing at..."

With every _because _a step was taken closer to him along with a finger raised until there were four digits extended from the hand inches from his face. Castle flinched, his eyes closed, scrabbling for something to say, while mentally admonishing himself for expecting the sting of a slap from the obviously pissed Detective in front of him. When the slap failed to appear he allowed his eyes to gingerly open, keeping Beckett in his sight as the sad smile graced her face once again.

"...and because I've been wondering what I would be like to do this again..."

In the time it took for that one sentence to reach his brain and his eyes to blink as the meaning filtered through her lips had found his and the hand that had been so menacing in front of his face was suddenly wrapped in his hair trying desperately to pull him closer. Before he even managed to form a coherent thought inside his head Castle's arms had encircled Beckett's waist and his lips had parted to grant her full access, revelling in the softness of her as she molded herself to him allowing the full length of her body to press against his.

Memories of earlier in the evening came flooding through his mind of his fingers in her hair as she had responded to him, almost losing herself in the moment. He felt the vibration of a moan leave her throat and Beckett made no resistance as his lips left hers, letting her head roll back slightly as he started a leisurely trail along her jaw bone towards the slight dip in her neck underneath her left ear, allowing him the time to breath in the scent of cherries and something else uniquely Beckett that had started his senses reeling from the day he met her.

Suddenly as though his touch has shocked her Beckett pulled away from him, causing him to stumble forward and land on his knees in front of her, a look of confusion filling his features as a look of distress filling hers.

"Oh god Castle...I..I..."

Her eyes darted all over the room, every where but at him as she desperately tried to find the words for what she's feeling, and Castle reached up and grabbed at her hand, ignoring the flash of pain that raced through him as she took a step back to be out of his reach, he stretched a little further, managed to snag her sleeve and pull her down to the floor beside him and quickly so that she would have no time to run away from him he wrapped his arms around her, positioning himself against her side as she started to sob, knowing at the reason she was burying her head into his neck was so he didn't see the tears begin to fall.

"Hey, hey Kate... its okay, look shush." He said the soothing words, even though he's not sure if she can hear him, and slowly stroked the back of her neck with his fingertips.

Eventually it was all over and he pretended to play the part of a gentleman by pretending not to look as she pretended not to wipe her face, trying to clear the tear streaks from her cheeks before she turned to face him.

"Better?" He grinned at her because it's what he does best.

She couldn't resist and smiled back at him, the puffiness of her eyes bringing out the vulnerability of the normally controlled Detective beside him.

"It wasn't meant to be like this Castle, I never meant for that to happen, I never even meant to come here tonight, I shouldn't be here, I should be at home waiting for a call ….."

Beckett let the sentence fade, the last words unspoken even though she felt the man next to her tense as he figured out where she was going.

"From Josh." He made the statement with no emotion, the only way he knew how to hide from her how much it hurt to know that she belonged to someone else

She turned towards him, taking both of his hands inside hers, Beckett bobbed her head slightly to get his attention knowing that he would have to be looking at her to understand.

"Rick...Please look at me"

The use of his first name brought his eyes up to meet hers. That and the _please_, something Kate Beckett never said without good cause.

* * *

A/N - Okay, I know that's probably not the best place to leave it and I do apologise, but it was either there or further up, so...

Another A/N - so remember, reviewing strokes my ego and cures my reluctance to write on a regular basis :-)

A/N (again!) - I do have one question or you guys, feel free to answer either in the review or by PM. What do you think Castle would get Beckett for her Birthday - nothing to do with this story, for something else that's spinning around my brain atm. Thanks in advance for any answers you may give.


	3. Chapter 3

Castle did as he was told knowing that there was not an order in the world this woman could utter that he would not follow...

"_...except maybe 'stay'_. " He though silently to himself, internally grinning as he refocused his attention.

Looking directly at her Castle was amazed by the honesty and warmth he saw behind the tears in Beckett's eyes,.

"He loves me Castle.. He wants to be there for me, he can be there for me. I need that right now."

There was a undertone of sadness as she spoke and the words were out of his mouth before his brain had processed them.

"I love you..."

There was silence and he wasn't certain he had actually spoken out loud until she answered, almost as quietly as him.

"I know, I realised that tonight. Nobody _pretends _like that Castle" She held a hand up, stalling the start of his sentence. "It's okay, I just wish you'd done that before I met Josh."

A wry chuckle escaped from deep within Castle's throat before he could stop it.

"I guess between Demming and Motorcycle Boy I never really stood a chance did I?"

Castle flinched lightly as Beckett raised herself on to her knees in front of him and lent in, just enough to make him nervous, as she studied him intently seemingly surprised by what she saw.

"Oh Castle. ...You never did figure it out." Coming from anyone else the slight shake of the head that accompanied her word might have seemed like pity, but all that Castle could hear was regret. "You know, for someone so observant Rick, you can be pretty blind sometimes."

Castle shook his head in an attempt to process the meaning of the words echoing inside his head.

He brought his hand up to her face, intending to wipe away the tears that had worked their way down her cheeks and was surprised when her hand wrapped around his wrist as she turned her head to place a kiss on his palm before lacing her fingers with his. Still reeling from the implications of her last sentence his ability to react was absent as Beckett lent ever further closer and captured his lips with hers for the second time since entering his apartment.

This time she didn't seem to want to let go, pulling at his T-shirt in an attempt to get him closer as his motor functions returned and Castle regained control of his arms, which promptly gathered her to him.

There suddenly seemed to be too many hands for just the two of them, under clothes, against skin, in hair as they fell to the ground, not registering the cold hard floor of the study as they immersed themselves in exploring each other, tongues and teeth clashing as they blindly attempted to find some joint rhythm

Castle waited for the objection as he felt his fingers working defiantly on the buttons of the blouse that he had managed to unhitch from Beckett's pants, letting the material fall away from her as he allowed his fingers to trace patterns on her skin over her stomach as she continued to kiss him hard and fast as though he may vanish at any moment.

He allowed himself to be parted from her for a micro-second as she made short work of his T-shirt, the material disappearing in an instant before being replaced by her fingertips as Beckett traced the contours of his chest and stomach, deliberately dragging her nails down his sides and laughing gently against his lips as he shivered and goosebumps erupted over his skin.

Following her lead he slowly slid the blouse off Beckett's shoulders and down her arms, pursuing his fingers with feather-light kisses across her skin, feeling the muscles tense as he tickled the sensitive spot in the dip behind her collar-bone.

Raising his head. meaning capture her lips again Castle was stunned into stillness by the passion and longing he saw in the dark eyes before him.

As he faltered Beckett smiled, turning it into a grin as she leaned in and placed a kiss directly over his heart, causing his breath to quicken and a groan to pass his lips that surprised both of them, causing a renewed clash of lips as their hands continued searching and touching, finding the weak spots in each other that caused vocalizations of various forms to fill the study.

There was a moment's hesitation, her hands stilled slightly and he felt her tense in his arms. Allowing himself a second longer Castle nipped lightly at her collar-bone before raising his head and seeing the look in Beckett's eyes that he already knew was there

The parting was slow, deliberate, as though neither of them was ready to give up what should never have started.

Seeing Beckett there in front of him, breathless, blushing and half naked Castle knew he would give up ever word he had ever written if only he got to keep her.

"We can't do this."

She sounded as though she was trying more to convince herself than discourage him and she made no move to retreat as he grabbed at her hand and brought it towards him until it was close enough that his lips could rest on the pulse point in her wrist, allowing him to feel her heart-rate increase as the deep blue of his eyes locked onto hers.

"But we're going to aren't we..."

It wasn't a question, he was just bringing the thought into the open and they both knew the answer.


	4. Chapter 4

OK. I know it's been ages since I updated this story and I apologise to everyone who was kind enough to review and favorite it, but sometimes real life takes over and... well you get what I mean.

Anywho, there should only be one more chapter after this, (and it's nearly finished already, so you shouldn't have to wait too long for it!)

I just hope this chapter isn't too OOC for them.

Reviews make me a happy monkey, so keep 'em coming :-)

* * *

Castle watched as Beckett cast around, searching for her blouse, silent but willing that she would raise her face so he could see which of the many emotions he was feeling would be reflected in her eyes.

"Maybe, eventually." A deliberate non answer that meant she could still avoid his gaze.

"Here, take this." Handing her his T-shirt, he desperately attempted to shield the hurt he was feeling from his voice.

Castle stood and started to walk away, "I'll make more coffee, come through when you're ready."

"Rick." He turned at the sound of his name, amazed how much one single, whispered word could pierce through his chest into his heart so deeply.

"What?" Castle hated himself at that moment, the venom in that one word had made her flinch, diverting her gaze from his and making Beckett seem even smaller in the open space of his study. He turned and walked out before she could answer, not wanting to hear her break his heart any more.

Castle allowed the heat from the kettle to warm his hands as he waited for the water to boil, as the cool air wishing that he had though to grab his robe before venturing down the stairs to answer the door, he glanced at his watch and made a quick calculation, less than an hour ago.

The silence within the large apartment was deafening, normally the slightest movement echoed off every surface, but not tonight when it would have been more than welcome. The events of the evening flashed though his mind at lightning speed, starting with the moment he had mentioned the plan to save their team mates and ending with Beckett pushing his away for the second time.

The memories were engrossing and the sensations they produced in him were distracting enough that he never heard Beckett appear behind him, it was the heat from her fingertips brushing the cool skin of his shoulders that brought him back to the present an the problems he now faced, he took it as an improvement in his psychological state that he didn't scream.

He froze as the fingers started tracing patterns along the heavy muscles of his back, tracing a line through to his spine leaving a trail of heat behind, there was a sudden intake of breath and as he forced his way out of the fog that was threatening to engulf him Castle realised it had come from him. Turning far enough to look as his tormentor the depth of passion and desire that met him was staggering.

"You're right you know, it is going to happen. I want it to happen, I wish I didn't, but I do. "

The fingers switched to his arm, feathering their way towards his waist as he subconsciously lent backwards against the unit allowing his pyjama clad hip to make contact with her body. Instantly he reacted, he felt the blue of his eyes darken to black, the desire coursing though his own body betraying the calm exterior he hoped he was projecting.

Castle scanned the features of the woman in front of him, marvelling at how beautiful and vulnerable she looked at that moment, knowing what it had taken for her to admit what she wanted, but knowing that the conflict she was feeling was preventing her from fully realising what she was saying and he knew that the next words out of his mouth could destroy whatever was starting.

"...and Josh?"

The words hung in the air as he watched Beckett's head fall forward, her forehead landing on his chest as he felt her take a deep breath in, the length of her hair covering her face hiding the emotions that were obviously flying through her features.

"I don't know if you've noticed but Josh has his own career, yes he loves me and yes he is there for me, but only when he is here. Listen carefully Castle, because you will only ever hear me admit this once, it is _you_ I choose to have lunch with, it is _you_ I choose to ask for advice, it is _you_ I choose to spend time with and..."

Slowly Beckett's head had made its way up and she now place her lips against the soft skin of his outer ear, whispering gently "...when I'm alone, its _you_ I think of."

The implications of her answer not only caused his jaw to slacken, but the sensation of her breath ghosting over the soft hairs on his chest and working its way up his body as she spoke had sent shivers down his spine, weakening his knees and giving him justification in wrapping his hand around Beckett's waist to keep himself upright.

"Kate, please don't start something I can't stop." There was a pleading in his voice that Castle had never heard and he was acutely aware that the reason for it was stood in front of him, pressing herself against him and pulling sensations from him he never knew existed.

"Let me have tonight Rick." Castle reached up, using the tips of his fingers to capture the tears that were flowing freely over her cheek bones. "You deserve more than that Rick, but don't force me to make promises I can't keep, at least not yet. "

Castle allowed his hopes to rise a little at the sound of the last four words, allowed himself to release the breath he hadn't realised he was holding and let a small smile to grace his lips as he bent his head and captured her lips.


	5. Chapter 5

Hey everyone :) Okay you can all shout at me as much as you like for taking so long with this chapter... this final chapter... you have no idea the amount of hassle it gave me AND reality didn't particularly want to play fair either, so there you go.

This chapter is MOST DEFINITELY rated M so if you are easily offended then I am truly sorry but you won't be able to finish the story (unless you skip right down to the last 7 lines and then you should be ok!)

* * *

Without his shirt Beckett's hands were free to roam over his skin, dusting over the soft hair of his chest and chasing the goosebumps down his arms as her mouth parted to allow his insistent tongue access.

Not for the first time that evening a low, satisfied moan escaped Beckett's throat, encouraging Castle's frozen limbs to pull her impossibly closer, letting his eyes close as his throat echoed her moan.

Time forced them to break to take in air. Castle began to place feather light kisses along Beckett's jaw and down her neck. Feeling is way over her skin using his lips alone he made his way back up her neckline and felt her shiver as he placed a kiss right below her left earlobe. Beckett placed her arms around his neck, grabbing at the short hairs that lined the upper part of his neck.

Breathing as deeply as he possibly could, attempting to gain some control over his rising excitement Castle slowly reached up and took her hands gently in his, bring them down and wrapping them around his waist, holding them in place as he felt her start to resist.

"If you don't want this to continue Kate, you had better say so now. Because I don't think I will be able to stop if you touch me again." He whispered gently, yielding to the desire to lightly nip at the soft flesh of Beckett's earlobe, suppressing a grin as she shuddered against him.

Beckett's only response was to lean forward and lick at the hollow at the base of his throat, blowing cool air softly at the spot, a grin pressed against his skin as he gasped at the sensation releasing her hands and allowing her free rein once again. Castle groaned, feeling every ounce of self control leaving as he felt warm, soft fingers inching around the waistband of the pyjama's that were doing nothing to hide how badly he didn't want this to end.

"Rick?" Castle felt his vision cloud as Beckett pressed herself against him, knowing that she could feel the heat emanating from his body was enough to make his idle hands clench in a vain attempt to maintain some control. "However much I could stand to do this all night, is there a chance we could get some where a little more comfortable?"

The sound of her voice grounded him in an instant, and Castle cringed internally, in his kitchen, against the cold marble side-boards was not how he had ever imagined making love to Kate Beckett for the first time. Without missing a beat he lent down and looped his arm under her knee, ignoring her squeak of protest as the other arm cradled her against him as he blindly made his way towards a more suitable area, His eyes riveted on the beautiful woman in his arms.

A quick glance up showed the sofa, in front of which he slowly lowered himself to his knees and placed his precious cargo on the soft cushions. His chance to worship her had finally arrived.

Silently he gripped the bottom of the T-shirt she had used to cover herself, lifting it enough that she had to rise towards him to permit removal of the material. Castle marvelled at the small gasps that were released as his lips gently followed the shirt up and over her head, pausing to feather a soft barrage of kisses along the now exposed lace concealing one of the many prizes he intended to claim.

Slowly he traced his fingertips along the underside of her bra, following the lace to the release point. Castle felt slim finger twisting in his hair and knew he was being watched as his eyes widened at the sight revealed by the removal of the material. Glancing up as his lips descended Castle was amazed by the strength of Beckett's gaze as though she was willing him to his destination. His lips touched the soft flesh that rose to meet him with every breath she took. There was a brief moment where her chest lifted and stilled allowing his tongue to dance around her nipple, capturing it gently between his teeth and tugging lightly before she yelped and swatted him across the shoulder, pulling him closer as her hand made contact with his body and he transferred his attention to her other breast.

Easily, without breaking the contact of his lips against her skin for a second Castle deftly unbuttoned Beckett's pants, hitching her hips to allow him the ability to remove them, pushing the material to the floor. Lazily he raised his eyes, watching for Beckett's reactions as he swept his lips away from her breasts, over the slightly raise contours of her rib cage, enjoying the resistance under his hands as she attempted to edge away from the sensation. Watching her eyes darken even further he strayed over her belly button, pausing to nip softly at the tender skin causing a sharp intake of breath, followed by a almost inaudible moan as he reached for the soft edges of the last piece of material covering her. In one swift movement it was gone replaced by one gentle kiss before Castle raised himself up and claimed her lips with his own once more.

Within seconds Castle felt hands pushing against his chest and a familiar panic rising upwards, fighting to control it as he lent backwards away from Beckett, surprised when she came towards him with no hint of regret in her gaze, instead he fingers skimmed over is throat and down his chest, tracing the distinct lines of not quite solid muscle under his skin, causing him to shiver into her touch, his fingers absently drawing senseless patterns over her stomach as she came towards him and anchored him in place between her knees.

Castle watched, helplessly fascinated, as Beckett's hands reached out and gently skimmed over the soft hairs that laid a trail towards the now obviously insufficient pyjama's, her finger's dangerously close to scrambling his mind as they dipped tortuously below the waistband propelling the elastic downwards letting the loose cotton pool around his knees. Castle's eye slammed shut and his palms landed hard down on either side of her head, pushing them both back against the the sofa as Beckett wrapped her fingers around him, her grip just the right side of delicious pain as she stroked him , using the nails on her other had to scratch a trail over his thigh as he edged closer blazing his way back up her body, his tongue leaving a damp trail as his mind attempted to memorise every inch of her.

Their lips collided once more as Castle felt himself nudge at her entrance, feeling a sudden lose as Beckett freed him from her grasp he allowed their tongues to duel briefly before pulling away and catching her gaze with his. Seeing his normally stoic Detective's face darkened with desire and emotion almost lost Castle any control he though he had, with the merest whisper of a kiss he moved himself forward and held himself at her entrance, searching Beckett's face for permission to grant his only wish since the moment he had met her, seeing the sparkle in her eyes, and the almost undetectable nod of her head, he lent forward capturing Beckett's lips with his and embedding himself deep inside her in one move.

He watched as her eyes flew open at his intrusion, her pupils dilating. Castle froze, wishing for the ability to capture that one second forever, wishing he could find the words to tell her how he felt.

Castle allowed the moment to pass, the silence between them continuing as he slowly pulled as far out as he could without leaving her completely before returning to his previous position, his eyes shifting between hers and the flash of teeth as Beckett bit her bottom lip, trying not to cry out.

Pulling herself forward Beckett summoned him with a simple look, powerless to refuse her Castle pressed himself to her, his lips trailing heat against her cool skin as her teeth nipped lightly at his jaw, working towards his ear.

"I won't break Rick"

The words burned into his mind even though they had been breathlessly whispered and with them the final threads of his self control snapped as he searched for his final prize.

She moved with him. Harder and harder, clutching at his back, his hips, starting to gasp for air as tension built in her body. His hands never stopped touching, caressing, his lips addicted to her neck and breasts, knowing he was going to remember the salty taste of her damp skin forever

A low moan echoed through the mostly silent room as her eyes screwed shut and the sharp scratch of nails dug into his back.

He moved harder, faster, using one hand behind her neck to pull her closer to him, finding more leverage to reach as deep inside of her willing body as he could, the other gently framing her face so he could just watch her shatter under him, around him.

Castle slowed himself, each ripple surrounding him, pushing him closer to the edge.

The moment came quicker than he wanted, edging him dangerously close to unconsciousness as he released inside of her, the grasping of fingers on the slick skin of Castle's back brought him forward, allowing him to latch on to the swollen lips of the woman making him lose control.

He watched as she dressed, not arguing that it was his shirt that now covered the body he had been worshipping only moments before.

"Are you OK Rick?" Her tone was guarded, any emotions once again buried just beneath the surface.

He looked up at her, creating the smile he knew she wanted to see, knowing that she didn't believe it.

"Of course I am. What more could I want, I have you. You may not be mine, but I have you." There was no malice in his words, only sadness and truth, he hoped she understood.

There was a brief smile and the whisper of her lips against his cheek as he let his eyes drift shut, permitting himself to believe for a second that she would stay.

"Always" The word tickled his ear as she backed away.

Castle watched as she walked out the door, every inch of him wanting to run to her and pull her back, to yell at her and make her see where she belonged, here, with him. But he knew that now was not their time. The evening may have created more problems than it solved, but he knew that the memory of it would sustain him until she was his.


End file.
